letting myself relax 😌

i think i'm putting a barrier between me and posting words on my website that there shouldn't be. like everything needs to be "curated" and be an effective essay to publish stuff. but i don't think this is healthy, scrutinizing myself to a specific point and not getting this stuff out into the world. i want my work to be read by other people and to do that i need to start publishing more. i want to develop my skills as a writer and hone my own voice. that means i need to be willing to make more mistakes. blogs and their posts should, by design, be ugly. they should be representations of the people who write them, who are mostly miserable little piles of secrets.^[1]

here's my promise to you, dear reader: i will start writing more. i will start publishing more. not, like, consistently, but more™. it will not be perfect but it will be my organically written words. you are going to be reading real thoughts written by a real, genuine dumbass on the other end of the screen who doesn't know what they're doing, like the rest of us are.

maybe the posts will be long, maybe the posts will be short. but i will post more. it's good for the brain to get these thoughts and ideas out to other people instead of letting it sit and gather dust. i think that's the whole point of this communicating thing, so i really need to exercise it if i want to get better at talking to others. talking to my preferred markdown editor is a good start.